Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Laugh & the world laughs with you....

You know the saying:
Laugh & the world laughs with you,
cry & you cry alone.

What a sad & lonely bastard that thought that one up, what a miserable fucking life he must have lead. Deserted by friends when in tough times, or maybe no one wanted to know.
I wonder did that sad fucker kill himself? Probably, but what's even worse is he's pretty much right.

I find when I'm low I'm on my own, I guess I could talk about it with my friends but I'd get labeled a sad, complaining, miserable bastard. And not many people would want to hang around them. I can't remember where I heard it but one of the things a guy looks for in a friend(male) is him being funny, that means no whiners.

As for girl's well, I don't know, never really tried it. Being in an all boys primary & secondary school I saw what happened when you do this around guy's & I wasn't really prepared to try it with girls by the time they came along.

What do I do if it's too much for me? What if it's more than I can bear?
No one to talk to, no one to share the burden with, alone.

When I feel like this I want to leave it behind, to just leave everything & go away, from everything. From all my problems, from all my responsibilities, from all my worries.

When you have some one to share the burden with, they can take it for a while, & when your stronger you can take it back, you can pick up from where you left off. With no one to share with all there is to do is leave, and when you do you leave everything for good, there is no coming back, there is nowhere to pick up again from. You burn all your bridges.

I like watching films, while I'm watching I forget my life, I forget my responsibilities, I forget my worries. And for a time I'm some one else, but then it all comes back, as strong as before.

Two weeks ago, for nearly an entire week I had no worries, I had no responsibilities, I had no problems. For that week I was myself without the problems, and I've never had that, I've never been there. And I know I can never have a week like that again in my life, for that one week everything was right, it was perfect, just by itself, with no work.

I'm glad it happened, and at the same time so sad to see it go. I can't bring it back, all I can do is remember. Sometimes life gets in the way, and it happens so fast that you don't even see it.
All you know is that you've changed, & you can never be the same again, & you don't know if it's better or worse, just different, everything different.

And to see the people from this life changing time go back to their own lives,it's almost enough to break your heart.


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