Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Lunch today

Ive got some head on me this morning, the baking powder got rid of the indigestion (for now) but Ive got a gut full of lead, and it's only 10:30am.
This day is going to drag on slower than mould gnawing it's way out of an old carton of milk. What have I got to look foreward to today? Maybee an email from
my wife, don't know; she didn't send me one yesterday, I'm sure she had a good reason (she'd better have a good reason).

Right now I'm looking foreward to 12, lunchtime, so i'll twiddle my thumbs here for another hour & a half detailing the excrutiating boredom of my
workday routine. In about 15 minutes i'll take a trip to the toilet, not because I need to go, because I need to be seen to move around & still alive.

"Yep I'm still here everyone, I haven't died at my desk yet, look I'm going to the jax; not interested, ok i'll see you again in about 45 for another trip."
Or maybee ill go & sit in the server room for a while, & look busy.

Thank god for iTunes & mp3's, if it were not for that i'd just sit here & drool, try to kill myself with a paper clip.

But theres only so many times you can listen to the same songs, until they start to get on your nerves *sings to himself* "I know a song that will get on your nerves, get on your nerves, get on your nerves, I know a song that will get on your nerves, get, get, get on your nerves.".
*Sings to himself again* " This aint no real work your doin here, oh no , this is the road to hell".

And what have I got to look foreward to for lunch? Cheese & mayionayse sanditches, the cheese coming from one of those re-sealable bags where it seals only
the middle & not the ends, the reasons I'm guessing is so not to sufficate children, you know children being a common item stored in such bags & what not.

Listening to the theme from terminator 2 now, keep picturing myself in leather coming into the office, load of guns & just going postal, I'm starting to
wonder how does this company actually make money, I mean I sit here & just waste my time, I guess (its 11am, great only 1 hour until lunch) there must be some one else who's actually doing something wirth getting paid for.

Thinking back to when I used to work in McDonnalds, it was hard work & the pay was absolutly crap, at the time I didn't qualify for minimum wage because I was under 18. But one thing about it was you never had to think, usually you never had time to think.

Now I get paid about double that & it gives me all the time in the world to think about how bored I am, so I guess I'm getting paid to be bored, not because
that's what the job requires but because thats the unoffial culture here, and from what Ive read on the net thats the unofficial culture in most places.

Think dilbert, think office space, think the office and thats where I'm at. One of the reasons I think that these are popular is because thats what
office life is actually like, but for some reason no one is allowed to say. It's like some big horrible corporate secret.

There is a lecturer from my college (Ed Dennehy), who is doing a thesis (for a doctorite) on synicysm in Irish the workplace, using the college as his example.
Better go for a toilet brake, I might hag out in the server room for a bit.
Back now, Im glad thats over with, wont have to that again until after lunch.

One of the more annoying things is not so much that I'm in a cubicle but half a cubicle, and I'm beside the isle, to which my boss walks past on a regular
basis, so i must give the impression of doing some work instead of actually doing work, I must seem busy instead of being busy.
Wo this is starting to sound very prolific, almost bhuddist, I should begin a manuscript.

Zen & the art of avoiding work.

To truly avoid work you must first believe, firstly that you are a very intelligent & productive soul;
secondly that the work that has been assigned to you is simply not worth doing, such that stalling, contemplating your exsistence, & trying to think of
different names for what you have done in order to give the impression to your superior that you have accomplished something.
Thirdly, that someone else somewhere within the company is going to actually do the work in your stead.

I might actually expand on this in the future, although it does sound like to much work.

11:25am, think i'll check my websites again, maybee something has changed.

HO-LY, I got yahoo chat working, oh it's so good, no longer alone behind this corporate firewall. (time is 11:32 & nothing new on my websites, & no one online I know to talk to).
20 minutes to lunch.

The food people are after emailing todays menu:

Tomato & Fresh Ginger Soup
Roast Topside Beef Served with Horseradish & Gravy
Hawaiian Ciabatta Pizza
Vegetable Mousaka
Crispy Roast Potatoes
Braised Red Cabbage & Apple
Rhubarb Crumble & Custard
*Selection of Ice Cream Now available *

oooh theyre getting fancy, putting pictures in their emails, wait a sec.... what they serve doesnt look like that!

Think I'm going to stick to my cheese sandwitches with cheese from non killing tiny child re-sealable bags.

Off to lunch I go, in 10 minutes.


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